So, what is it that kids “get” out of going to “big church”?
And why do we have Family Sundays if we're not really sure what
kids are getting out of it in the first place?
This is a question I get asked about from time to time. I get it. I've seen what goes down sometimes on Family Sunday. By the end of the hour, it seems like we've experienced or been a part of a tantrum and have wondered at least 6 times which kid has gotten ahold of something velcro. Every. Single. Thing. with a Velcro fastener makes it into that sanctuary. I know. (As a parent, I'd like to go on record and say- I have NO idea how the velcro things make it in sanctuary. I check, double check, find it and take it away... all before service. But inevitably, in the middle of services, I hear the tearing of the Velcro purse and my little Angel saying, "What? I'm just getting my markers!"). Okay, back on track:
But hear me out: Despite the hot mess that exists within my purse after I take away all the things my kids brought- it's worth it. Despite the times, I've had to deal with a tantrum- it's worth it. You won't hear me saying there's no down-side to family Sunday- as a person responsible for tiny humans, I can attest that there is- but what I AM saying is, we have to start changing our mindset and look at the many positive outcomes of worshiping alongside side our kids and families because the benefits far outweigh the down-sides.
Maybe sometimes kids don't "get it". But they aren't there to "get" the same things we're getting as adults. We have to stop assuming what we get, and what they get is the same- because it's not.
So, to spur those positive thoughts, and as a reminder to those young families struggling through service (🙋♀️), we're going to talk about some of the things kids can get out of going to "big church".
They get YOU
Have you ever stopped to think about how you're supposed to teach your kids how to worship? For a lot of parents, the idea of explicitly teaching something like that is really daunting. Those lessons are important and need to be had, but one thing I love about Family Sunday is that kids get to see you living out those lessons. Actions speak louder than words, #amirite?
When kids come with their parents to worship, they see you sing, they see you give during offering, and they see you taking communion. They see you watching the pastor. They watch as people walk to the front to be prayed over. They see it all. AND they see that you're a part of it.
--->They notice when something is important enough to put your phone down for.
--->They notice when something is important enough to get up extra early and dress up for.
--->They also notice how all the people they smile at in the Coffee Shop, smile and wave at them during the singing but are completely enthralled with the Word of God for the rest. They see that shift and know it's for a reason because something great is happening here!
This is the single most powerful reason to bring your kids to Family Sunday. During each service the scripture is read, prayers are prayed, and the Word of God comes alive.
(And yes, they also get to sit by you for an hour- because let's be honest, they're obsessed with you. And if you have a Kindergartner or 1st grader, sitting by you for a whole hour is everything they want to be a part of!)
When my kid acts like sitting next to me
in a pew is the new Christmas:
They get CONVERSATION
Anyone else have trouble finding out what kids learned at church? I have this problem and I'm literally the teacher.... I try, guys- like, really try! It usually goes something like this:
Me- "Hey guys! What was your favorite part of the lesson about today?"
6 yr old- "Nuuuthing. UH. hahahaha" *evil smile
8 yr old- "Stoooopppp it." *Face palm
Part of the greatness of Family Sunday is that you can use this as a conversation starter. Kids won't pick up on everything and that's okay. But do take some time on the drive home and zero in on the big ideas. Tell them what YOU got out of service and prompt a conversation. Ask if they understood certain things, then talk about it together. It's so awesome when parents get to explain things that were discussed during the service because then THEY become the biblical expert in their households! This makes it more likely that kids will look up to them and ask them questions when they don't understand something!
They get RELATIONSHIP
When was the last time another adult invested time in your child? I always try to think about what my child's memory of going to church will be if I drop them off in their class as soon as we walk in the door and pick them up right before we leave. (I mean, thanks to our ROCKSTAR Kidsmin team.... probably pretty good!) BUT my real point is, I want them to have interactions with other adults besides myself and my husband because I want them growing up understanding that these are people they can trust and depend on. I want a village for them. I want a family for them. That's what church is- a village and a family. The donut man and the lady with fancy earrings are people my kids can relate to and want to say hi to every time we're there.
Kids come to church ready to see these friends. You'll know they've made an impact when you're trying to leave for church and you're daughter demands you send a picture of her cute outfit to an awesome- but totally random- church member who she didn't see that day. (This is not a joke...😂) Then someday, when they see the donut man, mama's bible study friend, or the offering-talk man sitting in the pew behind them, excited to see your kids in service, your kids will be excited too!
Kids crave that attention from adults who love them. How many times do you hear, "Look at me!"? Probably a lot, right? When other adults are giving them positive attention, even if it's not exactly sermon-related/learning-related, it creates a family and fellowship that will keep them coming back for years to come.
That feeling grows over time, the inter-generational friendship grow, and this idea of fellowship starts to mean a lot. Kids can get something from talking to people before and after service so, encourage them to walk around and say hi to people while you wait for the service to begin.
They get TO BE SEEN
What's one sure fire way to help folks without kids feel connected with our Kids Ministry? Bring the kids to them! When you have a big or a multi-story church, it's hard for everyone to make over to the children's wing. This means, that the majority of members have probably never stepped foot in the Kids' classrooms or seen KidsMin in action! Bringing your child to service isn't always about what they can get out of it, it's also about what others can get out of seeing your child. The simple act of having a child around, can brighten someone else's day.
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There are always going to be a few who find it distracting but a church without kids is a dying church and so I truly believe that the noise and distraction is worth the eternal rewards. I've found my church to be an inviting place with overwhelmingly kind people, full of compassion.
Even when they witness the eye rolls and the super loud "What do you mean, I can't use your phone!" conversations during service, they've seen our kids grow up. We all know that kids will be kids. I'm here to tell you that's it's worth it.
All the frustration that comes with the eye rolls and tiny humans dropping toys down the back of the seat, with all the velcro toys in the world, comes something even better- tiny new believers who will grow up into a God-honoring generation.
I pray that every child who comes in our sanctuary has a chance to "get" some of these things out of our service. (And don't worry mommas- because there's almost always a really nice lady behind you who will smile at that baby, and pick up that toy for you 500 times with the patience of a saint...)
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